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Love-hate relationship

So I had been contemplating whether I should indulge my stomach or not for the past few hours. I did indulged after major wrestling with my mind & stomach. I feel lousy right now at the moment. Its 1.55am and I just gobbled down high in calories food. Great. Happy digesting it, stomach. As much as I despise people who always complain how fat they are and oh-i-ate-many-many-food-and-i-feel-so-fat kind of things, I'm being just like them. Irony. Naturally I do not publicise it in facebook, since god-knows how many people there are in my friend list. Complaining, whining & the list goes on. Somehow there's always been a love-hate relationship. Something that I can't seem to control at times like when life's miserable piece of shit. Its quite petrifying that I can gobble down two-servings of food of a guy. It doesn't get any better than this. As what my friends like to describe, emotional eating. Apparently, my self-control has drastically changed. Two years back, I nearly reached my ideal weight. Of course with the help of my dear friend and a extremely healthy diet. * scoffs. Two years later, I am way far from it with my stomach protruding out and cellulites building up with all the glorious food. I do have a right to rant about this topic since I went for aerobics in the afternoon. Getting back to living a healthy lifestyle is no joke especially for a gluttony like me. What I'm trying to say is I do exercise, not as much as two years back. Still in the process of incorporating dance into it. I'm on the track of bringing back my old-self and fitting into the old clothes. Obviously my stamina has decreased and my metabolism is kind of screwed up. No friends, do not invite me to any outings that consist of eating. To think of it, I would be the size of sumo-wrestler in time to come if I continue my stay in Singapore for the rest of my life. Reality check, I'm leaving in 18months. Maybe I'll become a starving artist or a fat chic Nurse somewhere else out there.

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