Based not on reality

If you're still sleeping, wake up

2012-01-15T23:43:00.001+08:00

Marry me

Adieu

2012-01-11T23:27:00.005+08:00

Rekindled my archives. Oh how time fooled me! Gone. Everything is gone. Left home. Living by myself. Leaving all these behind in two months. Going away, maybe for the better. Certain things gotta go..and this is one of it.

2012

2012-01-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

A year where I am gonna make things right.

2011-05-09T20:34:00.001+08:00

SO MANY THINGS TO SORT OUT.

WHERE THE F TO START.

2011-05-09T02:25:00.001+08:00

WHAT THE F DID I DO TO MY BODY NOW.

FML

2011-03-16T02:38:00.001+08:00

World peace is unattainable.

Man these times are hard

2011-03-15T02:07:00.001+08:00

I've got two part-time jobs now. It's mind over matters of heart. Who am I kidding...

Soberity and me

2011-03-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

I wanna cease into the symphony, waste away with this bottle of wine. Each sip is brimmed with bundled of emotions. How do I liberate from here..

2011-02-12T21:11:00.001+08:00

The same five words rather repeats on my head at least a hundred times a day. Which calls forth my sanity, how could that be...

Especially today

2011-01-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

It was the getaway for these bundle of mixed emotions. Trying to describe exactly- with almost nothing. Lost in between each single of it. These, these...all these. Did I linger too long?

it went something like this.

2011-01-15T21:30:00.003+08:00

the moment i shook my head, my vision started to dissolve. i wasnt thinking straight. i was walking, walking, walking, kept walking with a slight gait. yes katy perry, i felt like a plastic bag drifting through the wind. my brain stirred crazy. there was no beam from my eyes. desperately blinking while guffawing. i was diving six feet underneath. it hardly did the soothing rather it stinged more. nobody told me it hurts this good. take me back to the start...

2011-01-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

Not in the right state.

2011-01-09T01:55:00.000+08:00

I feel so fly like a g6. yesterday was (Y).

2nd

2011-01-01T01:44:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year to everyone.

Def hope that you guys didnt rot at home like me at the last hours of 2010. Have a fruitful day everyone. God bless you<3

For the first time;

2010-12-31T00:20:00.003+08:00

I've kept the better images for the exhibition. Saving the good for the last. For now, do enjoy.

your best days, some of my worst

2010-12-26T01:25:00.005+08:00

omg, i cant believe right now i am actually listening to some horrible beats. sometimes one shouldnt embrace too much on these thoughts. it fking aches from within. oh, these times are hard. bullshit mess, need to find my way back. on the sidenote, we had a Christmas gathering. tryna relieve the old days back. it felt good. those days when sheer innocence still existed. things have changed pretty much but our undying love for food still hasnt been extinguished yet. for the first time- renu, ras, alena, anita, nancy, jeni, jana.

Ras Pas

2010-12-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

2010-12-24T13:33:00.000+08:00

its the scariest thing ever to realise how much someone means to you.

2010-12-24T00:28:00.004+08:00

lately i've been feeling strange or shall i say empty and heavy at the same time. oh wait, no. rather useless, spiritless, faithless. its bothering me radically. second after second i keep musing. i swore never to touch it when nothing felt right inside. of course, this is yet another emo post of mine cause where can i actually vent it all when parents & brothers are busy sleeping. getting wasted every other night. actually i f do not know what i am typing. kbye.

She's so beautiful- Shristi Gurung

2010-12-19T23:39:00.002+08:00

2010-12-09T20:22:00.003+08:00

ON HIATUS, BABY!

xxx

As I know it;

2010-12-03T23:10:00.001+08:00

_l_

2010-12-01T20:18:00.001+08:00

I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad and be a living plastic from head to toe.

That's it.

2010-11-29T20:41:00.001+08:00

As mentioned above.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T20:53:00.002+08:00

Troubled nose

2010-11-22T19:53:00.003+08:00

To hell with covering my nose with tissues, I have decided to stuff it all inside to save myself from all the hassle. The war on my nose has been going on for 3 months. Screw it. Year 2, Semester 2, week 6.

Water bombs

2010-11-16T23:36:00.002+08:00

Meaty

2010-11-15T23:33:00.003+08:00

Laugh about all that we've lost;

2010-11-15T00:47:00.003+08:00

One move and I'm feeling

2010-11-13T20:26:00.001+08:00

Tihar

2010-11-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

Thank God I didnt had to fast that long today. Sinful food + truckloads of money + gift. I received Gold Ganesh Bhagwan necklace. I love it to the max. Its been long since I had new set of gold necklaces. Okay, I am in the mood to listen to Nepali folk songs. Makes me feel very Nepali.

Mind you, I am a girl

2010-10-26T21:29:00.002+08:00

I've never been happier than before. Which also means I am way fatter than two years back. It really gets on my nerves when people comment how much weight I lost then and how much weight I've gained now. So its been more than one month I went to aerobics/jogging and lived on a healthy diet. Yeah yeah, I am fatter than previously. You dont have to gasp when you see me down the streets. Let me eat in peace.

Running around in circles;

2010-10-25T23:01:00.003+08:00

I remember, I remember fair maiden. You were beautiful. Harharhar. How time flies. Its been long. I found solitude where you once found. It's really beautiful, really..

Foreign Bodies- Junior life

2010-10-23T14:58:00.006+08:00

I never once thought I would love dancing this much and performing infront of people. Thank you Foreign Bodies. There's more to look forward to. We'll be performing in school at 10 November at the Atrium. Dont miss it yo! Even if you miss it, we'll be performing outside of school twice. Do come down to support us!

Had me open

2010-10-21T00:02:00.001+08:00

Dashain- Tika

2010-10-17T22:32:00.004+08:00

Yes, thats actually rice on our forehead. How is it made? Its a mixture of rice, yogurt and vermillion. Sinful food in every house, money, rato tika. Prolly the last Dashain as a family in Singapore. Dad and my 3 little brothers<3

2010-10-15T02:25:00.003+08:00

I am sure I didn't come all this way to see you pull me down. I am sure they saw something that others didn't. I am sure that if I call it quits, I won't live to see another day with much enthusiasm. You can judge me with what I gave you. No apology will work, I am sure. I dont get myself neither will you. Eighteen.

Timbre

2010-10-10T00:44:00.006+08:00

Restaurant. Music. Bar.
Definitely a place to chill-out with friends.

Commitments

2010-10-07T00:06:00.004+08:00

At times I wish I didn't have all these commitments. I would do anything to just have a day with me, myself & I.

2010-09-29T00:00:00.003+08:00

So far throughout my whole education life, I have come to a point that Nursing has been the most challenging point in my life. My results are hopeless. I can't even qualify for university. Even at the most bleak situations, there's 10% of me which will assure the 90% of me. Mediocre shit. Coming back to the point, I've always hated science. I used to sleep during lessons and I've never scored above the C grade. I'm more of a Maths person. I can do it throughout the whole day and still love every aspect of it. Be it Amaths or Emaths & topping the class. Its been two miserable years that I've forbid Maths and the beauty of it. Wow, how far I have came with nothing. Nothing. Like how I am screwing up my future.

Yovina

2010-09-16T17:28:00.002+08:00

Love-hate relationship

2010-09-15T01:51:00.006+08:00

So I had been contemplating whether I should indulge my stomach or not for the past few hours. I did indulged after major wrestling with my mind & stomach. I feel lousy right now at the moment. Its 1.55am and I just gobbled down high in calories food. Great. Happy digesting it, stomach. As much as I despise people who always complain how fat they are and oh-i-ate-many-many-food-and-i-feel-so-fat kind of things, I'm being just like them. Irony. Naturally I do not publicise it in facebook, since god-knows how many people there are in my friend list. Complaining, whining & the list goes on. Somehow there's always been a love-hate relationship. Something that I can't seem to control at times like when life's miserable piece of shit. Its quite petrifying that I can gobble down two-servings of food of a guy. It doesn't get any better than this. As what my friends like to describe, emotional eating. Apparently, my self-control has drastically changed. Two years back, I nearly reached my ideal weight. Of course with the help of my dear friend and a extremely healthy diet. * scoffs. Two years later, I am way far from it with my stomach protruding out and cellulites building up with all the glorious food. I do have a right to rant about this topic since I went for aerobics in the afternoon. Getting back to living a healthy lifestyle is no joke especially for a gluttony like me. What I'm trying to say is I do exercise, not as much as two years back. Still in the process of incorporating dance into it. I'm on the track of bringing back my old-self and fitting into the old clothes. Obviously my stamina has decreased and my metabolism is kind of screwed up. No friends, do not invite me to any outings that consist of eating. To think of it, I would be the size of sumo-wrestler in time to come if I continue my stay in Singapore for the rest of my life. Reality check, I'm leaving in 18months. Maybe I'll become a starving artist or a fat chic Nurse somewhere else out there.

Dance away from me

2010-09-13T21:27:00.005+08:00

It all comes down to this- is or was. I'm not much of a public person, never was anyway. I'm too shallow to even bother to be a peoples' person. Wow, now the act-talk really gets into me. I'm pretty much peeved right now. Generally, no can do in these matters. I prefer to be left alone in my room where 50:50 gets the best out of my raging emotions. Level of anti-socialism seems to be increasing. Sure, with typical human behaviours that constantly pull the trigger. No wish to elaborate it any further. And being handphone-less just meant less commitments and more freedom to myself. Good riddance! Whats worse? Nursing and my camera aint going anywhere. I might just give up fotography since its been dangling and be a Nurse my entire life. Of course, thats a suicidal thought of mine. I might just die along in the Nursing process.

18th: Boys

2010-09-09T01:51:00.010+08:00

Dear boys,

I do not know how we stumbled upon each other but I am pretty sure we were walking along the same path. We were eating at the same table, sitting at the same platform. Came polytechnic, came Nursing & came you guys. Male nurses, pretty rare but I found you all at once. I would like to assure you that regardless of my weatherbeaten look most of the time, it is still able to feel warmth. Of course times where I have to wrestle my emotions to struggle to tune to the right frequency. I think we somehow defy the theory "Man are from mars. Women from Venus" by 10%, so much so that we are still up and running. Yes, at times I neglect you all. Its not like I have nothing to say, trust me. I am filled with opinions so and forth. Times when I look out for you guys in lecture/corridors/canteens which puts me at ease to know you guys are doing fine. I wish I could tell you guys how you make me feel. More negative reasons than positive I am sure of. That much I will leave it to my last day here. Sounds very platonic. Apparently not what I am aiming for. Watching you guys (kind of)grow makes me extremely proud. From a 'young kiddo' to a 'gym fanatic' to 'meeting your first love' to 'asking me which outfit looks good on you' & 'what hairstyle to cut' & etc..

Getting back to the point. Today, you guys swept me off my feet. Yes, yes,totally caught me off-guard. Thank you on getting pass my blood-brain-barrier due to the fact that I am like any other female out there. Demanding, picky & etc. Thank you for the most awesome card in my 18years of existence! Who would have thought you guys were this creative?! Thank you for the gift(words cant describe it right now). I've yet to figure out how to function it. Sorry I do not cry on request. Whose idea was it to buy a heart shaped cake? My mom initially thought it was my valentines gift which cracked my brothers up. -.-

Indeed, I will definitely remember my 18th birthday. One I will definitely treasure for life in my years of existence in Singapore. Next time please warn me beforehand to look presentable.

Thank you, boys(A, kish, kz, fiq, xuan).

Forget your name

2010-09-06T22:39:00.010+08:00

It seems that you're there, for the purpose to make way. To give them the headlight start. Its like you're meant to be deceived all along. The aftershock, the big black cloud over one. I have brought myself here.

18

2010-09-03T16:03:00.001+08:00

I just turned eighteen, with faces of hidden perfectionism surfacing. All the streets are the same, what are the chances of winning? Its just the epitome of survival to get through. Sighing annually in bid of anticipation that something melodic will, at least, strike my eardrum. Comparing every birthday might not be a good standard of practice. The night starts here..searching for my identity and seeking solitude.

25 years of service

2010-09-02T17:19:00.000+08:00

Celebration of 25 years of service for Dad and his intake.